Marooned in an overgrown tea garden
The 2016 election so far, in 6 Onion headlines
Ooh: New mass extinction event identified by geologists
Oh, New Hampshire: Wandering cows herded from Mall of NH back to home property
Elsewhere in weird animal news: Be careful when flying with your wolverine.
And: Wind apparently propels turkey through law firm window
Heh, Google now has Loch Ness Street View.
Adorable: "On being told his daddy was 'in China' he trotted over to the china cabinet, looked inside and pronounced, 'Daddy is not here.'"